The NOT-MOCK DRAFT (first 10 picks)

On most websites, people attempt to guess what players each team will select on draft night. But here at the sports toilet we flush that idea down the tubes, and we explain who each team SHOULD select and why.

1. Chicago Bulls – If they do not want to trade on draft day they should select Michael Beasley and pair him up front with worker bee Joakim Noah. This finally gives the Bulls a low post option and gives more room for shooters like Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordon who struggled last year. .

That leaves them with a lineup of Hinrich, Larry Hughes, Luol Deng, Beasley, and Noah, with Gordon, Thabo Sefolosha, Andres Nocioni, Tyrus Thomas, and Drew Gooden as the second unit. Not bad. Next move, get a coach.

With a legitimate scoring option down low, they would have they ability to trade Drew Gooden (and his $6.5 million expiring contract) along with Gordon or Hinrich or even Thomas to try to upgrade the point guard position. Jose Calderon anybody?

Note: I think Rose would be a solid pick here as well, however, it is less likely that Gooden and Hinrich could land a low post scorer the quality of a Beasley. And as good as Rose is, he isn’t winning a title without a low post scorer better than Gooden. Even Lebron couldn’t do that.

2. Miami Heat – The Miami Heat should pick Derrick Rose and be very very happy. Let’s just imagine suiting up Rose, next to Dwyane Wade. Then imagine apposing teams figuring out who their point guard is going to guard.

That leaves the Heat with a lineup of Rose, Wade, Shawn Marion, Udonis Haslem, and Mark Blount. They clearly need to upgrade the overall talent of the team, that last year maybe would have lost to the LA Sparks, but this would certainly be a good start. Let’s hope the new coach decides to turn up the tempo.

3. Minnesota Timberwolves – Some franchises just have no luck. The Wolves cannot get anything of value here. They have young promising players at every position and honestly need to get some veterans. How bout the 3rd pick and Corey Brewer/Rashad McCants for a real scorer or a point guard? If no trade can be conjured up, with a gun to my head, I pick the player with the most star potential left on the board. OJ Mayo. I know I know, he has no morals, he doesn’t fill a need, but face it, he has the sweetest jumper in college basketball and can fill it up. He immediately becomes your second best player. Then you hope either he or former 1st round pick Randy Foye can figure out how to play point guard. You would have to give strong consideration to Brook Lopez here because you need a center, but there is no way he is worth the 3rd pick as his ceiling is not as high.

That leaves the Timberwolves with a lineup of Foye, Mayo, Brewer, Ryan Gomes, and Al Jefferson. They should try to sign another big man with the midlevel exception and hope for the best.

4. Seattle Supersonics – You have a brand new shiny 2 guard and small forward. You need help everywhere else. Where do you go? I think you take Jerryd Bayless. There isn’t a world beater as a big man in this draft, and you’ve taken a project center 3 out of the last 4 drafts. How much did Johan Petro, Robert Swift, and Mohammed Sene pan out? I thought so. You think about Lopez, DeAndre Jordan, and Kevin Love, and then you pick Bayless. After trading away Delonte West to get Szczerbiak off your books, take Bayless and tell Luke Ridnour to alternate between eating and lifting weights 24 hours a day for the next year, and maybe he can get 10 minutes off the bench.

Potential Lineup: Bayless, Kevin Durant, Jeff Green, Chris Wilcox, One of those centers I mentioned or Nick Collison.

5. Memphis Grizzlies – You have 3 young point guards, a great shooter in Mike Miller at the 2, Rudy Gay at the 3, Hakeem Warrick at the 4, and a black hole in the middle after giving away Pau Gasol. Since I don’t think you want to start either Kwame Brown or Darko Milicic, I think you finally reach for a big guy here. I finally think this is where Brook Lopez gets off the board. The kid has offensive skills and actually kind of reminds me of Pau Gasol as far as his advanced skillset. I bring in Pau’s brother Marc Gasol in from Spain and let him compete for the starting spot at the 5. By the way, did I mention the Kwame trade gave them full cap space. Looking over at sportstoilet's own T Hirsh's free agent list I think a run at Elton Brand or Josh Smith might be tempting as well.

Lineup: Mike Conley, Miller, Gay, Warrick, Lopez/Gasol.

6. New York Knicks – Mike D’Antoni likes shooters. Donnie Walsh takes Eric Gordon. He trades away cancer ( Eddy Curry and Stephon Marbury).

Lineup: Jamal Crawford, Gordon, Quentin Richardson, David Lee, Zach Randolph.

7. Los Angeles Clippers – I would draft Russel Westbrook to play shooting guard. Rsign Elton Brand. Then I would let Corey Maggette walk in free agency and make a run at Baron Davis or Gilbert Arenas (two LA natives). This would make a very intriguing team.

Potential Lineup: Arenas/Davis, Westbrook, Al Thornton, Brand, Chris Kaman.

8. Milwakee Bucks – The Bucks are a team that looks good on paper but not in person. They get physically manhandled and seem to lack toughness. Even if he isn’t the greatest player on earth, I think Kevin Love is a perfect fit here. He provides the bumping and grinding that Andrew Bogut, Charlie Villaneuva, and the “Chairman” Yi do not like to participate in.

Potential Lineup: Mo Williams, Michael Redd, Yi, Love, Bogut.

9. Charlotte Bobcats – They need size in the worst way possible. From what I can tell Emeka Okafor is a really really nice guy. But he’s not an NBA center on a playoff team. He is a power forward. You need a center. You take the one with the most potential. DeAndre Jordan. I would couple this pick by unhiring Larry Brown. What a bad move. He doesn’t play young guys. He won’t develop rookies and he will waste your pick no matter what you do. He will probably ask you to take Hibbert. He sucks. Don’t fall for it. He’s slower than global warming. (I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Jordan isn’t the next Kwame Brown, I’m actually already considering Robin Lopez, but no, no I take Jordan. If nothing else he has the same last name as team president Michael Jordan…yeah yeah, great pick)

Lineup: Raymond Felton, Jason Richardson, Gerald Wallace, Emeka Okafor, D’Andre Jordan.

10. New Jersey Nets – I have heard a lot about this kid Gallinari from Italy, but after his countrywoman Andrea Barganini has showed such softness, and the fact that I’ve never seen him play, I take Darrel Arthur. He showed he can be a team player, hit open shots, and he played big in big games. He kind of reminds me of a Udonis Haslem type. The main need from New Jersey is to trade Jefferson or Carter and create cap space to go after Lebron/Wade in 2010. Sources at the sportstoilet have also been hearing a lot of crap about a possible trade for Carmelo Anthony. I think no matter who they draft here, they are not starting next year, as there are not too many other impact players left on the board.

Lineup: Devin Harris, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson, Sean Williams, Nenad Krstic

At the Stadium--Tropicana Field

The Jar was fortunate enough to get free all you can eat/drink tickets for the Tampa Bay Rays - Yankees game last week (thanks Bosley). Free beer and hot dogs. The jar is happy. Plus I thought it fitting that the first segment of "At the Stadium" take place watching a team perennially in the Sports Toilet. Well, actually not this year as well documented by Shay Shay. But generally speaking...yes. The Rays are the only expansion team to have never made the playoffs (Marlins, D-Backs, Rockies being the other three) and are one of only four teams to have never played in the world series (the others: the Nats, Mariners and Rangers). But that was the past. That was the Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays. They dropped the devil, dropped the neon colors (which I actually thought were pretty cool) and also dropped their losing ways. They are now simply the Tampa Bay Rays. Instead of a manta ray, their logo is a sunburst. Owner Stuart Steinberg said that the new Ray logo represents "a beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida." How special? But tell me this, would you rather have this logo:



Or this?



I rest my case. Still the change of name has added a burst of sunlight to their play, and the Rays currently have a Top 5 record in the MLB. And wouldn't you know it, on my first trip to the Tropicana Spaceship, the Rays handily defeated the Bronx Bombers. Scott Kazmir was lights out. The Yanks couldn't touch him--only 3 hits in 6 innings. And while the Rays cruised to victory, the Jar took in the ambience of a pro ball game in Tampa (with some pictures to prove it!):

Tropicana field kind of looks like a spaceship. Or maybe a slightly tilted toilet. Fitting that my picture of the stadium has a port-a-potty in front of it.

This about sums up the typical Rays fan. The most flip flops that I've ever seen at a stadium too.

Still it was nice to have some Rays At Your Service (the acronym for ushers). The nice lady in our section kept bringing the Jar free beers.

You would think that a team named the Rays, as in ray of sunlight that brightens everyone's day and blah blah blah...wouldn't play in a dome blocking the rays from getting in. Guess not

And why is the turf discolored? They are playing in a dome!

Does this make you want some orange juice?

And of course, they had mascot race...though not with brats...this one was sponsored by Pepsi. The Pepsi bottle won naturally.

Live from Sin City

As I walked by that big electronic board I like to call the "gamblers wall" the Spurs yet again proved to show their experience in the postseason. While speaking with a fellow toilet writer this morning I began to argue why they would win the game. The experience of past championships and the presence of Big Shot Bob even if he played 5 minutes during the game was enough for me. Getting almost 2 to 1 on your money I found somebody smart enough take that bet and even convinced those in the vicinity to follow along. Once again Shay Shay came through with a golden lock. But I want to keep this short and simple on what is next to play. Take it down. First, take Chelsea to win the Champions League. The game is in Moscow, Russia. The owner of Chelsea is Roman Abrahamovich. He is Russian. According to my what my eyes see here at the Mandalay Sports book, it is +110 for Chelsea to win. Take the Blues.

Next play. Take Detroit to beat Boston in a 7 game series at Bodog or your local affiliate.. This is more of a personal statement to why the Big 3 is really the little 3. They still have not proved anything to me. If they lose one game in Boston this series could be over faster than you can say KG. So back to the poker table where the action never stops and the hookers never sleep...