The Showdown of the Century

It's here, Celtics-Lakers or Lakers-Celtics, depending on the coast. We here at Sportstoilet are all LA guys so we try not to be bias unlike the evil four letter network that single handedly killed hockey just because NBC won the bidding war to air the games. Disney and ABC should be ashamed, Mickey is fraud and goofy is a heroin addict. ESPN should stop stroking New England based teams and start recognizing the West Coast uprising. The leader of the LA-based resurgence is Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers. David Stern is creaming himself over the fact that he has two of the top 5 markets in the finals and the absolute dream match-up, historically, Laker-Celtics. It all started at the trade deadline of the 2007 season. Kobe, obviously fed up with the team's current standing, voiced his opinion on killing the youth movement and the team's need to make big moves and bring in veteran talent. This failed to happen. The Lakers had a chance at Jason Kidd, Kevin Garnett and current Laker, Pau Gasol. Mitch Kupchak, Laker GM, failed to pull the trigger on a deal mainly because all deals included the departure of the young center and oft-proclaimed, future of the Lakers, Andrew Bynum. The Lakers had a miserable season according to the standards set by fans and ownership expectations of the greatest basketball, and maybe sport's franchise of all time.
The off-season was quite eventful, it seemed like whole team was at odds with the backbone, the living legend, the star of stars of the Los Angeles Lakers, Kobe Bryant. Kobe hated them back, or so it seemed. Local radio stations such as AM 570, expressed mixed opinions on Kobe's public tirades about the lack of effort by Laker management. He wasn't particularly happy about the fact that Mitch failed to deal Bynum for the obviously over-the-hill, Jason Kidd. Thank God that didn't happen. The threats started to pour on as Kobe continued his public displeasure and continued to state his desire to be traded. The public also had mixed opinions on Bryant, whether you loved him or hated him at the time, every fan had an opinion on what would be the best for the Lakers. Everyone had a plan for the future and everyone thought a big change was needed. Opportunity arose in the 2007 off season for the Lake show to bring in none other than Kevin Garnett. Finally, this was the answer. A big man, a big name, a "Big Ticket." Talks went on for weeks between Mitch Kupchak and the Evil Celtic, Kevin McHale, T-Wolves GM. All deals had Andrew Bynum somehow involved and Mitch would not deal the young Laker's Center.
The public was torn, and why? The team could not win now without a big name like Kevin Garnett, it just wasn't possible, according to us. The fictitious deadline for this deal had to be the draft, we had to trade pick, we had to trade players and bring in Garnett ASAP. it never happened. The draft started with the obvious picks going one-two, Greg Oden to the Blazers and Kevin Durant to the Sonics. The Celtics were on the board at 5 and they threw quite the curveball. After not being able to dish Paul Pierce, they decided to build around him, now. They traded the #5 pick to the Sonics for their superstar Ray Allen. What? Yes, it was true. This was a solid 1-2 combo that would at least allow them to do just fine in the lackluster east. The draft went on without the Lakers making a move and maintained it's young roster with Kobe Bryant remaining as the teams only true star. Then the unthinkable happened. The two evil Celtic GM's got together and sealed the deal on a trade that would bring Kevin Garnett to the Celtics for a slew of young talent to the Minnesota Timberwolves. The Garnett deal and Kobe's situation did not settle well with Bryant, the fans, the media or anyone who cared about the future of the Laker franchise. The one bright spot of the off season was bringing back the backbone of the 2000-2002 championship Laker teams, Derek Fisher. This was a start, but not enough according to Bryant. The depressing off season carried into the beginning of the 07-08 campaign. Kobe led a young starting lineup that didn't show much promise for the upcoming season. This didn't look great on paper but after a couple months, the Lakers were looking like a playoff team. Andrew Bynum was maturing and becoming and dunking and shot blocking force in the low post and Kobe was being Kobe. D Fish was being the floor general everyone expected he would, being a professional and doing his job. Lamar was up and down as usual and Kwame "DooDoo" Brown had his moment but still couldn't palm a tennis ball and was being Kwame which means he was still dumb as cow shit and very inconsistent. Somehow they were still in the playoff race. Hopes were high in LA, hey, we were gonna at least make the playoffs. Then, the Lakers lost all hope when it's center Andrew Bynum went down with a 2 month injury.
The trade deadline was nearing and Kobe still didn't drop his desire to be traded, then the bomb dropped on the league. There was supposedly a trade in the works that would send then, Memphis Grizzly, Pau Gasol to LA for his little bro, Marc, Kwame "PooPoo" Brown, young PG, Javaris Critterton, who I still think has promise and a couple of first round picks. Couple that with the shipping of Maurice Evans and Brian "Puppy Crap" Cook, it was now apparent that the Lakeshow was serious. Pau was a nice replacement for Bynum, to say the least and Trevor Ariza was a fine defensive anchor for the opposing teams best player. The rollercoaster continued in LA as Boston was in cruise control, dominating the east. They looked like the best team in basketball and there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they would win the 2008 title. The Lakers thought differently. They started climbing the ranks in the very tough western conference and all was well in Lakerland. The hype of a Lakers-Celtics final started as both teams climbed to first place in their respective divisions.
Sure enough as the season ended both teams finished first and the hype continued. The Lakers plowed through the Nuggets in no time flat while the Boston Celtics struggled with the 8th seed Atlanta Hawks. The series went to 7 and The Celtics finished them off in convincing fashion. On to round 2. The Lakers had to face the best home team in the league, the Utah Jazz. While at times the Lakers looked like they could fall, Kobe stood up, put the team on his shoulders and put away the very tough Jazz team in 7, despite a great serious by young pg, Deron Williams. The Celtics went to seven again and had lots of trouble playing 5 on 1, Lebron was proving he is in fact, the 2nd best player in the league and gave a good fight. The Celtics Big 3 was too much for LJ23 and the Celtics would now have their first real test by facing the 2004 NBA Champion, Detroit Pistons. The Lakers drew the defending champion, San Antonio Spurs. The only two teams who are in the running for the team on the current century would be pitted against one another in what was supposed to be a knock down-drag out afair. The series ended in 5 and the Lakers were proving that they were not only the team of the decade, but the best team of the 2008 season.
The Celtics struggled against a Chauncy-less Piston team but eventually pulled off the win in the series. So now, the table was set. The hype happened. David Stern got his wish, he got the Showdown of the Century. Mainly the showdown of 2 centuries ago, but still, Lakers-Celtics is the best possible series for the league, no matter what the generation. The nostalgia is everywhere. Visions of Bird, McHale, Parrish, Magic, Worthy, Jabbar (Alcindor), West, Chamberlain, Russell, Auerbach and Buss. Showtime was back and so was the rivalry of all rivalries. So this is it. Game one is on tap for this evening and who knows what will happen. The C's are favored by 3 tonight and rightfully so. The Celtics were the best team of the regular season and appear to be pumped for the first Championship in Boston hoops since the 80's. The Lakers have 3 at home following the 2 in Boston. This should be one of the best series in basketball history but I think the Lakers take this bitch in 5. Kobe Bryant is now in debate as the best player of all time and this series win would be another step towards being just that. Phil Jackson could also take the championship ring record from the late Celtic great, Red Auerbach. So many storylines, so much rich history, so much to look forward to, yet I still see the father's of LA celebrating when the Lakers win game 5 on father's day and bring the gold back to the downtown hoops dojo, Staples Center. This championship will be for the current dads and the future dads of BH. The house that Shaq built will forever be known as the house that Kobe called home and built his path to the greatest player of our time.
That's what LA is about Basketball and avacados, y'all better know that.

Davon Jefferson “Airplane” takes a nosedive

Davon Jefferson played one season for the USC Trojans in which he averaged 13 points and was the third best player on a team that lost in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. The guy is a physical specimen, standing at 6’8’’ with really long arms, however, the guy refuses to do anything which would require actual effort. He doesn’t rebound, he doesn’t play defense, he doesn’t even pay attention half the time when he doesn’t have the ball. During the course of the season, Tim Floyd had to suspend him from 3 games do to “offcourt/practice” issues. Basically, Jefferson, who by the way was a 22 year old freshman (after missing a whole year of college after not being able to get a high enough SAT score, preferred to sulk than to try

Maybe you shoud have spent your time lifting weights instead of signing autographs

He probably had everything handed to him. People telling him he was great. People telling him to go pro. And he listened. And he hired an agent. BIG MISTAKE. At the predraft camp, where he needed to dominate to get himself into the first round, he instead did his usual lackadaisical routine and did not impress. Most embarrassing of all, Jefferson put up 185 lbs in the bench press a whopping 2 TIMES. You read it right, he weighs probably 230 and he put up 185 exactly twice! Jtolliani, himself is not a big man, he is 6 ft tall in sneakers, and about 173 lbs dripping wet, and he can put up 185 at least 7 or 8 times. I mean c’mon Davon. You couldn’t study harder for those SAT’s and qualified for college a year earlier? You couldn’t have learned how to dribble or box out at some point? You couldn’t have practiced your free throws, because all you can pretty much do out there is go to the basket and try to get fouled. You are a disgrace. And you will not be missed at USC. You have all the talent in the world. But you would rather let it waste away. So you will do the same. You can think about it when you on the bus between D-League games. I can see you know: “Maybe I should have tried harder.”

The NOT-MOCK DRAFT (first 10 picks)

On most websites, people attempt to guess what players each team will select on draft night. But here at the sports toilet we flush that idea down the tubes, and we explain who each team SHOULD select and why.

1. Chicago Bulls – If they do not want to trade on draft day they should select Michael Beasley and pair him up front with worker bee Joakim Noah. This finally gives the Bulls a low post option and gives more room for shooters like Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordon who struggled last year. .

That leaves them with a lineup of Hinrich, Larry Hughes, Luol Deng, Beasley, and Noah, with Gordon, Thabo Sefolosha, Andres Nocioni, Tyrus Thomas, and Drew Gooden as the second unit. Not bad. Next move, get a coach.

With a legitimate scoring option down low, they would have they ability to trade Drew Gooden (and his $6.5 million expiring contract) along with Gordon or Hinrich or even Thomas to try to upgrade the point guard position. Jose Calderon anybody?

Note: I think Rose would be a solid pick here as well, however, it is less likely that Gooden and Hinrich could land a low post scorer the quality of a Beasley. And as good as Rose is, he isn’t winning a title without a low post scorer better than Gooden. Even Lebron couldn’t do that.

2. Miami Heat – The Miami Heat should pick Derrick Rose and be very very happy. Let’s just imagine suiting up Rose, next to Dwyane Wade. Then imagine apposing teams figuring out who their point guard is going to guard.

That leaves the Heat with a lineup of Rose, Wade, Shawn Marion, Udonis Haslem, and Mark Blount. They clearly need to upgrade the overall talent of the team, that last year maybe would have lost to the LA Sparks, but this would certainly be a good start. Let’s hope the new coach decides to turn up the tempo.

3. Minnesota Timberwolves – Some franchises just have no luck. The Wolves cannot get anything of value here. They have young promising players at every position and honestly need to get some veterans. How bout the 3rd pick and Corey Brewer/Rashad McCants for a real scorer or a point guard? If no trade can be conjured up, with a gun to my head, I pick the player with the most star potential left on the board. OJ Mayo. I know I know, he has no morals, he doesn’t fill a need, but face it, he has the sweetest jumper in college basketball and can fill it up. He immediately becomes your second best player. Then you hope either he or former 1st round pick Randy Foye can figure out how to play point guard. You would have to give strong consideration to Brook Lopez here because you need a center, but there is no way he is worth the 3rd pick as his ceiling is not as high.

That leaves the Timberwolves with a lineup of Foye, Mayo, Brewer, Ryan Gomes, and Al Jefferson. They should try to sign another big man with the midlevel exception and hope for the best.

4. Seattle Supersonics – You have a brand new shiny 2 guard and small forward. You need help everywhere else. Where do you go? I think you take Jerryd Bayless. There isn’t a world beater as a big man in this draft, and you’ve taken a project center 3 out of the last 4 drafts. How much did Johan Petro, Robert Swift, and Mohammed Sene pan out? I thought so. You think about Lopez, DeAndre Jordan, and Kevin Love, and then you pick Bayless. After trading away Delonte West to get Szczerbiak off your books, take Bayless and tell Luke Ridnour to alternate between eating and lifting weights 24 hours a day for the next year, and maybe he can get 10 minutes off the bench.

Potential Lineup: Bayless, Kevin Durant, Jeff Green, Chris Wilcox, One of those centers I mentioned or Nick Collison.

5. Memphis Grizzlies – You have 3 young point guards, a great shooter in Mike Miller at the 2, Rudy Gay at the 3, Hakeem Warrick at the 4, and a black hole in the middle after giving away Pau Gasol. Since I don’t think you want to start either Kwame Brown or Darko Milicic, I think you finally reach for a big guy here. I finally think this is where Brook Lopez gets off the board. The kid has offensive skills and actually kind of reminds me of Pau Gasol as far as his advanced skillset. I bring in Pau’s brother Marc Gasol in from Spain and let him compete for the starting spot at the 5. By the way, did I mention the Kwame trade gave them full cap space. Looking over at sportstoilet's own T Hirsh's free agent list I think a run at Elton Brand or Josh Smith might be tempting as well.

Lineup: Mike Conley, Miller, Gay, Warrick, Lopez/Gasol.

6. New York Knicks – Mike D’Antoni likes shooters. Donnie Walsh takes Eric Gordon. He trades away cancer ( Eddy Curry and Stephon Marbury).

Lineup: Jamal Crawford, Gordon, Quentin Richardson, David Lee, Zach Randolph.

7. Los Angeles Clippers – I would draft Russel Westbrook to play shooting guard. Rsign Elton Brand. Then I would let Corey Maggette walk in free agency and make a run at Baron Davis or Gilbert Arenas (two LA natives). This would make a very intriguing team.

Potential Lineup: Arenas/Davis, Westbrook, Al Thornton, Brand, Chris Kaman.

8. Milwakee Bucks – The Bucks are a team that looks good on paper but not in person. They get physically manhandled and seem to lack toughness. Even if he isn’t the greatest player on earth, I think Kevin Love is a perfect fit here. He provides the bumping and grinding that Andrew Bogut, Charlie Villaneuva, and the “Chairman” Yi do not like to participate in.

Potential Lineup: Mo Williams, Michael Redd, Yi, Love, Bogut.

9. Charlotte Bobcats – They need size in the worst way possible. From what I can tell Emeka Okafor is a really really nice guy. But he’s not an NBA center on a playoff team. He is a power forward. You need a center. You take the one with the most potential. DeAndre Jordan. I would couple this pick by unhiring Larry Brown. What a bad move. He doesn’t play young guys. He won’t develop rookies and he will waste your pick no matter what you do. He will probably ask you to take Hibbert. He sucks. Don’t fall for it. He’s slower than global warming. (I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Jordan isn’t the next Kwame Brown, I’m actually already considering Robin Lopez, but no, no I take Jordan. If nothing else he has the same last name as team president Michael Jordan…yeah yeah, great pick)

Lineup: Raymond Felton, Jason Richardson, Gerald Wallace, Emeka Okafor, D’Andre Jordan.

10. New Jersey Nets – I have heard a lot about this kid Gallinari from Italy, but after his countrywoman Andrea Barganini has showed such softness, and the fact that I’ve never seen him play, I take Darrel Arthur. He showed he can be a team player, hit open shots, and he played big in big games. He kind of reminds me of a Udonis Haslem type. The main need from New Jersey is to trade Jefferson or Carter and create cap space to go after Lebron/Wade in 2010. Sources at the sportstoilet have also been hearing a lot of crap about a possible trade for Carmelo Anthony. I think no matter who they draft here, they are not starting next year, as there are not too many other impact players left on the board.

Lineup: Devin Harris, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson, Sean Williams, Nenad Krstic