We made a couple key trades and we got the Funk

I was thinking back on some Nike commercials after seeing the new ones for Nike Sparq where every one's faster is faster than my fastest. I like this a lot and it's great to see Saul William's get much overdue exposure with his song in the commercial, "List of Demands." I love huge Nike campaigns like this and it got me thinking about the best ever. There's been a bunch but one stood out in my mind.




Anyone remember the Roswell Rayguns? They were the fictitious ABA team comprised of "Dr. Funk" Vince Carter, Jerry Stackhouse, Jermaine O'neil and Baron Davis.It was 1975 and they just wanted to keep the funk alive. The commercials were made to promote Vinsanity's new shoe by Nike. The Nike campaign was based on an ABA team that was struggling and invested in a new brand of basketball that could be the future. They were right and it was also the birth of pro sport's widespread historical appreciation of past uniforms, especially basketball. Now you started seeing 10-15 throwback games a year and killer uniforms for fans to galk at and desire to buy. Soon enough Mitchell & Ness, the leader in throwback reproductions over saturated the market with uniforms that at one point in time were nearly impossible to find. Rappers started sporting them in nearly every video you saw and the widespread demand was crazy. It was more common so see a "Throwback uniform on the street than a regular jersey. The craze was everywhere and thank God it died down, any and all nostalgic value the jerseys had was killed. I don't think the commercial was completely to blame, Andre & Big Boi played a huge part in the madness as well. A Nike campaign that fresh deserves a shout out, it was the best thing since Spike Lee and Jordan's "It's gotta be the shoes."
Nike last great campaign was the Lebrons. That was funny. I hate Lebron, but the guy can sure sell a product. Especially when he jumps off the high dive while Kool and the Gang is playing, that's smooth. Not sure if it's better than Chris Rock and Penny Hardaway's "Little Penny," but it is damn funny.
Still all of those are no match for the genius of the Roswell Rayguns. Nike + Vince + Diddy + Stack + JO + Snoop + tha P + Tha Funk Ship=The best Nike ad ever!

Hold the Mayo

That 4 letter network reported today that the generally always up to no good former USC guard and future NBA lottery pick/millionaire O.J. Mayo (real name: Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo--I'm not making this up) was accepting cashmoney and free bottles at Teddy's while a student at the University of South Central. A big NCAA no no. This could potentially mean that USC would have to forfeit all games where OJ.participated. Doubtful that will happen. More likely are some additional restrictions on recruiting that they will no doubt violate. My question: wasn't this one obvious? At the time, USC had just spent millions of dollars in constructing the GAYlen Center (which I have to admit is actually pretty nice). To build a competitive/interesting to watch so that we can sell tickets and fill the arena team, they needed a blue chip recruit. Enter Mayo. A kid who has been hyped in the national media since 7th grade. From West Virginia/Ohio, willing to go to the highest bidder. USC (a school known for buying players) fit the bill. You would think that the boys from Troy would have learned their lesson on investing in degenerates named OJ. Guess not. This whole situation has the movie Blue Chips written all over it. Tim Floyd is Pete Bell. Seriously. (Speaking of Tim Floyd, my friend Loaf often refers to him as a used mattress salesman. I'd say that's pretty accurate). Of course, nothing will happen to Mustard...I mean Mayo. Just like in Blue Chips, where Neon and Butch (played by Shaq and Penny Hardaway respectively) went directly to the pros unscathed by the recruiting violations. As for the future of BBQ Sauce, I predict that he will go lottery in the draft and have an adequate statistical career (potentially a good short term pick-up in fantasy leagues) for a myriad of crappy teams . Think hybrid of Ricky Davis/Jamaal Tinsley. And, of course, he will rack up a slew of legal infractions ranging from substance abuse (DUI, possession of illegal substance, etc.), to assault to possession of an illegal firearm. Mark it down. You heard it here first on the Sports Toilet. By the way, why doesn't Vegas have odds on athletes and the likelihood of them getting arrested? I take the under on Horseradish getting arrested within a year.