Hold the Mayo

That 4 letter network reported today that the generally always up to no good former USC guard and future NBA lottery pick/millionaire O.J. Mayo (real name: Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo--I'm not making this up) was accepting cashmoney and free bottles at Teddy's while a student at the University of South Central. A big NCAA no no. This could potentially mean that USC would have to forfeit all games where OJ.participated. Doubtful that will happen. More likely are some additional restrictions on recruiting that they will no doubt violate. My question: wasn't this one obvious? At the time, USC had just spent millions of dollars in constructing the GAYlen Center (which I have to admit is actually pretty nice). To build a competitive/interesting to watch so that we can sell tickets and fill the arena team, they needed a blue chip recruit. Enter Mayo. A kid who has been hyped in the national media since 7th grade. From West Virginia/Ohio, willing to go to the highest bidder. USC (a school known for buying players) fit the bill. You would think that the boys from Troy would have learned their lesson on investing in degenerates named OJ. Guess not. This whole situation has the movie Blue Chips written all over it. Tim Floyd is Pete Bell. Seriously. (Speaking of Tim Floyd, my friend Loaf often refers to him as a used mattress salesman. I'd say that's pretty accurate). Of course, nothing will happen to Mustard...I mean Mayo. Just like in Blue Chips, where Neon and Butch (played by Shaq and Penny Hardaway respectively) went directly to the pros unscathed by the recruiting violations. As for the future of BBQ Sauce, I predict that he will go lottery in the draft and have an adequate statistical career (potentially a good short term pick-up in fantasy leagues) for a myriad of crappy teams . Think hybrid of Ricky Davis/Jamaal Tinsley. And, of course, he will rack up a slew of legal infractions ranging from substance abuse (DUI, possession of illegal substance, etc.), to assault to possession of an illegal firearm. Mark it down. You heard it here first on the Sports Toilet. By the way, why doesn't Vegas have odds on athletes and the likelihood of them getting arrested? I take the under on Horseradish getting arrested within a year.

What about Bob?

Current West Virginia coach Bob Huggins that is. I say current because it looks like ol' Huggy Bear may be violating the terms of his agreement. Just a few days ago, a certain 4 letter network announced the terms of Huggies deal which states that he can get fired for substance abuse. Then look what he goes and does today. The guy gets sloppy on his way to an event to meet with boosters --drinking free Jack and Cokes on a flight paid for by those very same boosters I'm sure--and then falls so hard that he has to be hospitalized. The Boosters were disappointed that the fall caused Huggy to miss the event, but hey, at least the assistant coach made a cameo. Classy move Bob. This goes a long way in confirming to the administration at West Virginia that they made the right decision in signing you to a 10 year deal.

Of course, this isn't the first time Huggy Bear has experienced off the court issues. You may remember Huggy from his days coaching the Cincinnati Bearcats where the university cut his tenure short, buying him out of his contract in 2004....right after he received a DUI. And wouldn't you know it, he had a bunch of degenerates on his squads back then like Kenyon Martin and Ruben "I am a registered sex offender" Patterson. Although Nick Van Exel is a straight up g so I give a little credit to Huggy for that one.

Still, Huggy can't sober up long enough to realize that his drinking problem cost him his job at Cincy (and might also be his kiss of death at his alma mater). Then again, this is the man that passed up the chance to coach future #1 pick in the draft Micheal Beasley. And just look at the guy...he reminds me of your drunk uncle yelling at the wall during family functions. Hey Bob, just a thought, but maybe you should lay off of grand dad's ol cough syrup for a while.